The Man Cave

The Man Cave
Jack's Man Cave (Click on the photo to enter the Cave)
Showing posts with label Short Read. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Short Read. Show all posts

Friday, July 24, 2020

Sitting In My Jacuzzi with Rock Stars

Sitting In My Jacuzzi with Rock Stars 

I've got questions, they've got answers


The other day I was sitting in the jacuzzi when rock stars kept popping up from under the water. I asked them questions before they disappeared.

. . .

Jim Morrison

“Were you possessed by a Native American, like the movie showed?”

“Yes. . . . Willingly.”

“Did you die of an overdose, or were you murdered?”


. . .

John Lennon

“Would you have gotten back together with Paul, George, and Ringo”

“You don’t like my solo stuff?” said John, acting mock offended.

“I love your solo stuff. “#9 Dream” is one of my favorite all-time songs, and I love the whole difficult and painful first solo album.”

“Well, yes. Beatles would have tried to make a . . . comeback” said John, facetiously.

“You say ‘Beatles’ too like Yoko does? Instead of ‘The Beatles’?”

“Yes Darlin’”

“Would you guys have made music just as good as before?”

“Yeah, sure, why not? Like ridin’ a bike Sonny”

“Do you play music with George now?

“Yes. And it’s very good music too,” said John, whispering and batting his eyelids.

“Would you and Yoko have gotten divorced?”

“No. We’d have ‘UN- consciously coupled’” said John, making fun.

“Would the world be a much better place now?”

“All you need is Love”

. . .

Mick Jagger

“In your heart of hearts, you think the Stones are better than the Beatles, right?”

“Of course.”

“Why don’t you get a vasectomy?”

“Cuz I’m a King Bee.”

Then Mick flew away.

. . .

Bob Dylan

“Are your songs prophecies?”


“So are there hints in your songs about what’s going to happen in the future?”


“Do you know how the world ends?”


“Is it pretty?”

“Who’s askin’?”

. . .

Kurt Cobain

“Did Courtney Love have you murdered?”

“No,” said Kurt, lighting up a ciggie.

“Would you have quit music, if were you still alive?”


“What would you do instead?”

“Marriage counseling.”

“Are you serious?”

“No!” he said laughing.

. . .


“Was it an accident that you died?”


“Do you jam with Jimi Hendrix and other superstars?”

“We get down!” said Prince smiling coyly.

“Do you like me … do you think I’m cool?” I asked meekly.

“You’re alright. But you need to hit the gym!” said Prince, scrunching up his face in disgust.

“Don’t you think every Bruno Mars song is a weak copy of Morris Day?

“I’m outta here,” said Prince.

. . .

Ian Curtis

Do you like New Order’s music?


“Do you appear as a ghost in the doorway giving your blessing in the video for “Perfect Kiss?”


Are you uncomfortable? You seem uncomfortable being in my jacuzzi.”

“Yes, I’m getting burned by the sun.”

“Do you want to leave?”


“One last thing . . . is there anything that could have changed your mind? That day . . .”

“Yes. It was just an impulse. People read too much into these things. I’m sorry I hurt the people I loved.”

. . .


“Was the Devil scared when he saw you coming?”

“Nevah met ‘im. He moved out when Bon Scott moved in, and he left no forwarding address. Har, har, har!”

© Copyright 2020 Jack Clune

Wednesday, July 15, 2020

Please Don't Call Me "Junior"

Please Don't Call Me "Junior"

I have another idea though


The phone rang. It was the bank. I'd just spent two hours there opening my new corporate account.

"We can't open your corporate bank account," the lady said.

"Why not?" I asked.

Because it doesn't say "Jr." on it.

"So what? I don't really walk around having people call me 'Junior.'

"Yes, but that's your legal name."

"But I don't want to be called 'Junior.'"

"Well. I'm sorry Sir. For the purposes of this account, you have to go by 'Jr.'"

"Can you call me 'J.R.' instead?"

"Would you like us to call you 'J.R.'?"

"Yes, I'd like that better. Can you call me 'J.R. Ewing'?"

"Everybody, when Mr. Clune comes into the branch, call him 'J.R. Ewing' please!"

Copyright © 2020 Jack Clune

Tuesday, June 30, 2020

If I Can Help Just One Person with My Novel, I Will Have Succeeded

If I Can Help Just One Person with My Novel, I Will Have Succeeded

Deep thoughts on a beach

The Author

Most of the "Writing Tips" articles I read on Medium, end with the advice that my writing should offer something to the reader that will help them in their life.

This idea caused me to hit the "pause button" big time yesterday. I decided, before I go any further, I need to assess just where my novel based on biographical information is going.

Am I Just Navel Gazing?

Yesterday I found myself writing a long paragraph about a very important moment in my life, and it occurred to me that what seemed so important to me, might not be as important to anybody else.

I caught myself, and I grabbed myself by the scruff the neck and I said (to myself):

"Listen Self! Is this really important to anybody else (besides myself)?"

My Eureka Moment!

I took a long walk (by myself) on the beach today, while my son was at soccer practice. It was somewhat distracting that my sunglasses kept fogging up because of my mask. But as I walked through the thousands of college kids, pressed close together, high-fiving each other, and singing loud and drinking out of each other's cups, I heard a voice in my head:

"If my book can help just one person out there, I will have succeeded!"

This is My Truth

The moment that I was writing about yesterday, was the time that my father forced us to change lanes while we were stuck in a long line of cars trying to cross the U.S. Border from Mexico. After we changed lanes, the old lane we were in started moving fast, and the car that was behind us got across the border almost a half-hour faster than us. I'll never forget that.

Feel My Pain

If there is one other person out there like me, who ever experienced things like these- I want to let them know, they are not alone:

If your "best friend" told you the road was clear for you to ride your bike out of a blind driveway, and then you got hit by a car;

And if it was the first day of summer, and you had to wear a leg cast for like 11 weeks, and the car was a Lincoln Continental (the biggest car ever produced); and

If you were the only boy in your whole elementary school who dressed up for Bicentennial Day in 1976, in a full Minuteman outfit made by your Grandma, complete with neck and wrist kerchiefs;

And they made you stand on a chair at a school assembly, so that everyone could get a really good look at you;

Or if you still walk around angry that the San Diego Clippers basketball team moved to Los Angeles;

If any of these things happened to you, I think my book will help you.

Smooth Sailing From Now On

When I got back to my desk tonight it was with a new sense of passion and purpose. I opened the laptop and hit the "This is Chuck Mangione" playlist on my Spotify heavy rotation list. I told my wife Tracy:

"I'll be up late tonight Tracy. I've got a lot of unpacking to do. And a lot of people to help."

© Copyright 2020 Jack Clune

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